old vs. new

well, its been awhile...honestly i've been working on the ol' diss and for some reason it precludes me from doing any 'fun' writing (does this exist anymore?), or fun reading for that matter. Not everyone has this problem. Its a peculiar single-mindedness that I suffer from, though I don't think its really working out for me as a guiding principle of life. Let me break it down...I am a scholar of classical antiquity (has a nice ring to it doesn't it?) and therefore I spend a fair amount of time immersed in a world that exists in the form of 'ruins' and 'dead' languages, as I am constantly reminded. Maybe its stupid to say that in some ways it's a place that is alive in my mind, but it is also really really far away. I always think of this book called The Past is a Foreign Country by some dude named Lowenthal when I am thinking about this - the title is way cooler than the contents. It is a pretty great time/place to be able to access, but it also requires alot of effort to go there everyday, and tear myself out of my modern life. Top this off with the fact that I approach both my life and my work with some kind of postmodern sensibility (all the theory I've read over the years has to make itself count somehow, right?) and it becomes pretty clear that I am suffering from some kind of psychic jet-lag or vertigo or something! It makes me sad to admit that this psychical time-travel lifestyle is difficult for me, I wish I could make it all mesh together in some fabulous way. But I often feel like it pains me to spend all day immersed in Aristophanes and Thucydides, then to read Vice Magazine and watch Top Model and then go out and get drunk at some swanky Hollywood simulacra bar. I see my mode of existence as a battle between old and new - to continue the medical metaphor, it infects everything I do and say. Even my relationships entail me contstantly ping-ponging between my nostalgic sweethearts, my present love who is actually absent, and the prospect of meeting someone new everyday. How can I make this all a good thing? I feel like I need to find a new way to incorporate - really, to make it all okay within my body and my mind. Otherwise I can already envision it - now/new is going to win this battle, and I am not completely sure I want it to.